Relationships Do Matter: HMG Mediators on Mediacorp TV “Missing Peace”

Abdul Salim Ahmed Ibrahim“Money would usually be at the surface, but it is not always what parties want. There are times when they want recognition, they want a bruised ego to be address, or they just want a simple apology sometimes.” Abdul Salim, HMG Mediator Mediacorp  Channel 5 “Missing Peace”, Episode 2 (28 November 2013)       Lim Tat“Mediation itself has the effect of preserving relationships, and that is one of the things that is foremost in your mind. Is it important for the parties to preserve the relationship moving forward? Mediation offers an alternative route where parties can, using their innate sense of justice, have a conversation using a neutral party, to find a solution they are prepared to accept.” We have all been through situations when we need to make an apology or say sorry for something you feel you have done wrongly, and it is not easy during those moments to even utter the word. As mediators, we are trained to understand that those interpersonal dynamics are extremely difficult to come around. So you say it seems be an easy issue to resolve, but from the parties’ standpoint , it is extremely difficult. There is a very high hurdle that they need to cross. Again the advantage of mediation is that as a neutral,  we are able to be a catalyst to bring parties to a point where they feel ready and empowered to move on with that particular framework to resolve the problem. As opposed to the alternative of bringing it to court, or having a third party to decide what the answer should be, which is what really happens when you go to court.” You see this happening often in the kind of cases that involves emotions and personal relationships. There is that epiphany where the disputants suddenly realise that the crux of what they are fighting for is not really the dispute at hand, but is something bigger, may be that it is really the relationship, and then you suddenly realise what the solution is on your own. The great mediator is one who is one that brings the parties there, without leaving his or her own footprint. That’s really ideal.” Lim Tat, HMG Mediator Mediacorp Channel 5 “Missing Peace”,  Episode  15 (20 March 2014)